Question:
I have a friend who is basically my best friend. We have a close-knit group of friends that includes this guy I really like. The problem though is that I think he likes my best friend. Sometimes I notice signs that would suggest that he does, like the fact that he and my best friend are always flirting and texting. But then sometimes I get signals that are directed towards me, like I always catch him looking at me, and when I notice him looking, he always quickly turns away, or like when he bumps into me or even laughs at a joke I make. But then, I also notice that he always has a reason to touch my best friend, and he laughs so hard at her jokes that he cries. They get along so well in front of people and alone, but when he and I are alone I get sooo shy and don't know what to say.
I am so confused, and I can't stop thinking about him. I love my best friend, but I just don't know what to think, and my heart aches when I think him or when I watch the two of them flirt. Can you please give me opinions or advice of my situation?
My Reply:
I would suggest 2 things:
1) Talk with your friends about how you feel about the guy and see if she has similar feelings for him. If she does, back off from him and put your feelings aside. If she doesn't have similar feelings, then letting her know how you feel should cause her to back off from the flirting with him (best friends back off).
2) After you talk with her, talk with him. Because if your best friend doesn't have feelings for him, then it's a go for you, but you need to know where he stands with her (for if you two should date, it wouldn't be right if he still flirted with her. And if he does, then get out before your emotions grow too strongly, otherwise it could put a wedge between you and your best friend). If it ends up your best friend does like him, then you need to back off and let him know that you're backing off and why, for it's not good for him to be giving you mixed signals while they pursue one another, nor is it good for you to respond to his signals when you know how your friend feels about him.
1) Talk with your friends about how you feel about the guy and see if she has similar feelings for him. If she does, back off from him and put your feelings aside. If she doesn't have similar feelings, then letting her know how you feel should cause her to back off from the flirting with him (best friends back off).
2) After you talk with her, talk with him. Because if your best friend doesn't have feelings for him, then it's a go for you, but you need to know where he stands with her (for if you two should date, it wouldn't be right if he still flirted with her. And if he does, then get out before your emotions grow too strongly, otherwise it could put a wedge between you and your best friend). If it ends up your best friend does like him, then you need to back off and let him know that you're backing off and why, for it's not good for him to be giving you mixed signals while they pursue one another, nor is it good for you to respond to his signals when you know how your friend feels about him.
My point is that you all need to be on the same page about what's going on and where everybody stands.
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