Question:
I need advice for my friend...I promise, it's not me...I like being single.
She's like in love with this boy: she's 14, he's 18.
I hate him because of something he did...but I'm not going to tell her that. My head and heart are telling me that she should try and get over him. She says she only likes other guys cause they keep her mind off of him. What should she do? Normally I can help her but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
She's like in love with this boy: she's 14, he's 18.
I hate him because of something he did...but I'm not going to tell her that. My head and heart are telling me that she should try and get over him. She says she only likes other guys cause they keep her mind off of him. What should she do? Normally I can help her but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
My Reply:
When I look at your question, what stands out is the third sentence: you hate him because of something he did but you're not going to tell your friend about it. I guess my question is, why not? If you want to help her get over him, other than setting her up with other guys, and this thing is really so bad, then wouldn't it seem worth telling her about in order to help her through her mourning and healing? I can only assume it has something to do with you also. But then, as her close friend, I believe it's your responsibility to be honest with her.
As for her dating other guys to keep her mind off him, I agree with you that it's neither a good idea, nor fair for the other guys. Remember, as her close and caring friend, you have leverage to explain this to her and help her through it (it's better to deal with the pain now than to just become busy to cover it up). In the process, encourage her not to date anybody for a while in order to help her remember who she is without the guy. Also, introduce her to new places (places she didn't go with the ex), and surround her with your other friends so she realizes she's not alone, and that she can enjoy life without a guy's arm around her all the time.
Finally, if you know the Lord, pray for her and ask Him for ways to help her with all this.
If you don't know Jesus, then I'll cover you on that part. :)
As for her dating other guys to keep her mind off him, I agree with you that it's neither a good idea, nor fair for the other guys. Remember, as her close and caring friend, you have leverage to explain this to her and help her through it (it's better to deal with the pain now than to just become busy to cover it up). In the process, encourage her not to date anybody for a while in order to help her remember who she is without the guy. Also, introduce her to new places (places she didn't go with the ex), and surround her with your other friends so she realizes she's not alone, and that she can enjoy life without a guy's arm around her all the time.
Finally, if you know the Lord, pray for her and ask Him for ways to help her with all this.
If you don't know Jesus, then I'll cover you on that part. :)
---Pastor Andy
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