Question:
I have a 21 Year old son, and he wants his 18 year old girlfriend to move in my house. As Christians, what should we do when something like this comes along? I feel like sometimes I am too harsh, but at the same time, I feel like I am doing the right thing since they are not married but want to live together. HE says that her mother doesn't want her living at her house and she has no place to go. I have put my foot down and we have gotten into many arguments, but still he has gotten me to give in a few times and I've let her spend the night a couple of times. And now he says that if I don't let her stay here (live here), he is leaving with her and tells me they have no place to go…should I let him go even if he makes it seem like they have no place to go?
My Reply:
I suggest that first you pray. I'd also like to suggest talking with the girl's parents. See if the girlfriend's really telling it like it is. It's possible that either she or your son's feelings are clouding their judgment and they're saying this to be together. Maybe her parents really did kick her out, or maybe they didn't. You should find this out before taking her in. And if you do decide to let her in, then talking with her parents may help you learn if there's anything you need to know about her first.
As for your son leaving, I really doubt he'll leave, or if so then not for too long. He's probably bluffing a threat (guilt-trip) to get you to give in.
Remember too, if you should let her in, be sure they understand the rules of the house (you're in charge, what you say goes, separate rooms, not permission for sex, etc.). You should also talk with them about what should happen if they break up. Is she out on the streets, or does she continue to live there? You may also suggest she pay rent for the room and help with costs around the house, since technically speaking, she's not your daughter, she is 18, and she is another mouth to feed…just a thought.
Either way though, pray about it first. And if the Lord suggests these things, then ask Him to go before you in the conversations, preparing for the right time and all.
As for your son leaving, I really doubt he'll leave, or if so then not for too long. He's probably bluffing a threat (guilt-trip) to get you to give in.
Remember too, if you should let her in, be sure they understand the rules of the house (you're in charge, what you say goes, separate rooms, not permission for sex, etc.). You should also talk with them about what should happen if they break up. Is she out on the streets, or does she continue to live there? You may also suggest she pay rent for the room and help with costs around the house, since technically speaking, she's not your daughter, she is 18, and she is another mouth to feed…just a thought.
Either way though, pray about it first. And if the Lord suggests these things, then ask Him to go before you in the conversations, preparing for the right time and all.
---Pastor Andy
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