Question:
I'm 17 and have been waiting for that one guy to lose my virginity to.
I dated a guy for three years and just wasn't ready yet or, comfortable enough to go any further, so he broke up with me…typical guy. Anyway I am now dating a guy who I have never felt so comfortable with and I do love him and want to further our relationship. But I've scared myself to death about sex. I'm just scared of the pain that comes with it, I guess you could say. I have eight tattoos and if I think that hurts pretty bad…you think I'd think sex would? People say it's horrible and it hurts but is it really that bad the first time? What should I expect my first time? Is it a pain that I can stand? And I'm totally clueless when it comes to this sex thing. I am a virgin, and at my age that's not very common, ha. I've talked to my boyfriend about how scared I am, and he always says we can wait and he's totally fine with that. I'm willing to wait as well, but it's going to happen sometime...so your help and advice is greatly appreciated!
My Reply:
First, I'd like to congratulate you for holding off from having sex for this long...you're right, virginity among teens is rare today. And good job on holding out on the last guy.
Here's what I'm thinking. Your current boyfriend is willing to wait, but you're freaked out. But why bother thinking about it now? You dated the last guy for 3 years and never had sex. You've just started dating this guy, so what's the rush?
I'd like to suggest another rarity: why not hold off until you're married? Seriously! I mean hey, you want it to be special and with the man you love, right? So who better to save your first time than the one you want to grow old with? And if it's this guy, then waiting until the wedding night will be even more special. But if God forbid he's not the guy, then wouldn't it be nice to know you saved it for your husband?
Here's what I'm thinking. Your current boyfriend is willing to wait, but you're freaked out. But why bother thinking about it now? You dated the last guy for 3 years and never had sex. You've just started dating this guy, so what's the rush?
I'd like to suggest another rarity: why not hold off until you're married? Seriously! I mean hey, you want it to be special and with the man you love, right? So who better to save your first time than the one you want to grow old with? And if it's this guy, then waiting until the wedding night will be even more special. But if God forbid he's not the guy, then wouldn't it be nice to know you saved it for your husband?
---Pastor Andy
